A Little humor is good for
the soul and body. If you have a favorite story you would like
to share with the members, send it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
An Elderly couple visited
the doctor together. Afterwards the doctor called them into
his office to discuss their general condition. "Your health is
good for your advanced age, but both of you are showing signs of
short term memory, and perhaps you should develope ways to
counter act the problem," he explained. The couple went home,
and were considering it, when the wife exclaimed "I have it, we will
write everything down on paper." Later that evening while
watching TV, the husband gets up and heads for the kitchen.
"Where are you going!", the woman asks. He says " I'm going to
the kitchen." "Bring me back some ice cream,
and you better write it down!" "I
don't need to write it down, its just a simple request", he
answered. About 10 minutes he returns with eggs and
bacon, and hands it to her. "You old fool. I told you to
write it down! You forgot my
Old is when your friends
compliment you on your alligator shoes, and you are bare
Old is when a beautiful
woman catches your eye, and your pacemaker makes garage doors go
A woman jumps out of her car,
runs inside her house and shouts to her husband, "Honey, I won the
lottery! Pack your bags!" The husband says, "Wow! Should I pack for
the beach or the mountains?"
"Doesn't matter," she says.
"Just get the heck out!"
man said to his friend, “I left my wife after 25 years of
friend said “Really!
How did she take it?”
The man said “You know, you live with somebody 25 years and
you don’t really know them.
I had no idea she could sing and do cart wheels at the same
man bought himself a brand new Mercedes convertible car and he took
off down I-95 doing 100 MPH, allowing the wind blow through what hair he
had left. And he said,
“This is great!” He
pressed down on the accelerator and was soon going 120 MPH. Suddenly there was a highway
patrolman behind him with red lights flashing and sirens
blaring. He floor
boarded it, and soon was doing 150 MPH. Then he comes to his senses
and said, “What am I doing?
I can’t out run the patrolman, the guy has a radio.”
So he pulls over to
the side of the road and waits for the trooper to catch up. The trooper pulled up behind
him and got out and walked up behind the Mercedes and said ”Mister,
my shift ends in 30 minutes, it is Friday the 13th, and
I’m tired. If you can
give me one good reason, a reason I’ve never heard of before,
as to why you were speeding, I’m going to let you
And the man said,
“Last year, my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you
were him trying to bring her back!” And the trooper said
“Off you Go!
Have a nice day!”
A middle-aged woman has a heart attack, and while she was on the
operating table, she has a near death experience and comes to the
presence of God, and said, “Am I going to die?” And God answered “No! You
are going to live another 40 years.” She recovers, and decides
she is going to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, have
liposuction, tummy tuck, and dye her hair and have various kinds of
augmentation and beautifying treatments. She said, hey, if I am going
to live another 40 years, I might as well make the most of
She walks out of
the hospital and gets run over by an ambulance. She arrives at the gate of
heaven, and says “Hey!
I thought you said I had another 40 years!” And God said, “ I’m
sorry, I didn’t recognize you!”